It sucks, but it’s time to accept that the festive season is officially over. With people heading back to work, university registration opening and retail stores ALREADY advertising Easter (the fuck?), the steady decline into 2018 begins.

With our 2018 resolutions come an extra set of promises we always tell ourselves but never manage to stick to. Here are a couple that we’ll most probably tell ourselves in 2019 šŸ™

I’ll buy Christmas gifts for December in January

We’ve all done this, walking past the countless discounted items we mumble to our S/O “we should buy our Christmas gifts now during all these sales to save on the December hassles”. followed by their response of “YES totally, what a great idea!”

Nope, this never happens. Why? Because January leaves us broke asf, cooking eggs for breakfast lunch and dinner, alongside governmental loaves of bread. Just give up on this dream it’s never happening.

I’ll spend less In December

Unless you intend on isolating yourself in the Karoo or Midrand, you are going to have to accept that your bank account is literally going to leak faster than Jeniffer Lawrence’s nudes. Cash just seems to disappearĀ almost instantaneously during December, and the only way to prevent yourself from the morning after heartbreak is to earnĀ more money.

January will be my Sober month

Oh ho, bless the soul of whoever boldy makes this exclamation. OF COURSE, JANUARY WON’T BE YOUR SOBER MONTH YOU DUMMY, PEOPLE ARE STILL PARTYING (albeit on thatĀ ridiculous budget).

You’d think that after new years partying would be out of the system, that venues wouldn’t be throwing events, that people wouldn’t have braais. Nah, the Jol doesn’t end on December 31st, you’ve just got to have the stamina to keep up.

I’ll start consistently exercising

If you are serious about exercising. Then seriously, don’t start in January. Don’t sign up for a 12-month contract, resist the specials.

Rather, write off January, or when you can, exercise at home.

 

We’ll spend more (or less) time with family

If you are one of the lucky few who actually has a nice family to hang out with you, congratulations – most of us don’t.

In between the religious rituals and awkward silences, you wonder, why exactly do I have to spend time with these people? Surely I should spend it with people I actually care about? Like friends or Netflix?

I’m just kidding, I have an awesome family. I’ll spend more time with them defos, I am just too busy writing shitty articles like this.

 

Author

Aspiring Adult, lives some sort of life, will probably be rich one day (or not?)

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